versão em português aqui
    twitter    instagram    |     music     drawings     stories

quinta-feira, 19 de janeiro de 2012

A guitar, a knife and Mario Kart


- I’m here to get my guitar.
- Your guitar?
- Yes, man, I come here to get my guitar, the world is going to end and I need it.
- Whatta fuck is that of “the world is going to end, I need my guitar”, are you crazy?
- Gimme my guitar, the world will end and I decided that I want to end playing my guitar.
- I’m not giving you any guitar.
- Fuck, why not?
- Because not, fuck you.
- But you saw on TV, one hour from now everything will end, so don’t fool around, gimme my guitar, yes?
- I’m not going to give you anything, the world can end and I ain’t gonna give you that shit guitar.
- You are not understanding, I...
- No, you are the one not understanding! So much things to say, after all this time and you show up here asking for your guitar, don’t say hi, or ask how I’m doing, giving me orders, talking about the end of the world. You are drunk, right?
- No, man. It is serious, it was on TV just now, the world will end in one hour.
- Yes... I know... I was just kidding. That’s is fucked up, isn’t it?
- Yes, it is. I’m happy you understand and if it is for lack of hi, then hi. I’m sorry I have not showed up before and stuff, and sorry again for show up just when there is no other way, you understand it, I know. So, can you give me my guitar now?
- No, dude, I not giving you any guitar.
- Fuck, why? It is mine!
- Look, do you think I forgot what you did to my sister?
- Oh... Wait, no, you are mixing up stories. Sisters are different business. I just want my guitar, I’m not going to bother your sister or something.
- You broke her heart, dude. That is also fucked up.
- What do you mean? Are you insane? She is twelve, what you wanted me to do?! Oh, yes, yes, sure, of course I will marry you, littler twelve years old sister of my friend of the band!
You didn’t had to marry her, even more because in this crazy world we live today this marriage things are fucking complicated, but you didn’t needed to throw her in the pool, right?
- She was chasing me with a knife! With a fucking knife, screaming she was going to turn me into a girl, after I told her I was not interested and things would not happen between us, and etc. Fuck, what you wanted me to do?
- Look man, the truth is, without any intention to be a dick, to any situation in life, any, there is always a way to get out of it as a gentleman. Got it?
- Man, really, get me my guitar, the world is going to end and you are here saying that I had to let you little sister stick a knife in me or marry her!
- No, no, no. Calm down. I didn’t said you had to marry her, I even said that in this times we live this marriage things fucking complicated. And you didn’t have to let her stick like very deeply the knife and such, but throwing her into the pool was not nice.
- I didn’t, she fell down into it! You were there, you saw it! She was running like a crazy viking with that blondie braids flying in the air, then I moved aside quickly and she went straight. In fact, it was lucky that the pool had water.
- Yes, but it was dirty and smelly. Come on, dude, that is not the attitude of a gentleman.
- Man, fuck the gentleman. Really. Gimme my guitar. I’m sorry for everything that happened, etc, many things, I never wanted to be bad to someone, you know it, but man, it is the end of the world, I need my guitar, the clock is ticking, I’m sorry for everything. Everything. Do you understand?
- Yes, I do.
- So, you gonna give me my guitar?
- No.
- No!?!??!??
- Don’t get me wrong, I understand, bla bla bla, end of the world and all, but... well, it happens that...
- That what?
- Well... at that day, when you escaped, jumping over the gates and all, while my sister was getting out of the dirty pool, all soaked, screaming that there was no tomorrow for you, she noticed that you had left you guitar behind.
- Oh no... don’t tell me that she...
- Yes, she...
- She, what?
- She stabbed you guitar completely.
- What????? What you mean by stabbed completely?????? How?????? And it was a kitchen’s knife, not a samurai sword!!!!!
- I don’t know, dude. By the way, to be honest, there are times that she scares me a lot.
- What you mean?!? Where is the guitar??? Let me see it!
- I think you better not.
- Why not? It is mine, the world is going to end, your crazy sister made some holes over it with a knife and you won’t let me even see it?
Yes, dude, I was thinking about it, you know? I think you should stop playing the guitar, I mean, don’t take it badly, but you suck at playing guitar, maybe it was all a signal of the universe saying that you must stop with this music idea, before someone get hurt really badly, I don’t know. You understand?
- Man, no more talk, gimme my fucking guitar now. I don’t care about what you think of my musical talent, the band is over anyway, the other guys have no more courage to show up here because of your sister, they even avoid to walk close to your street, and also...
- Tsc, Tsc, an exaggeration, we should say. She is just a little twelve year old girl, come on, this youth of today, there all a bunch of pussies.
- ...
- What?
- ... Nothing, man, never mind... Well, time is running, you here talking nonsense and I need my guitar.
- Jee, you really like music so much that with the end of the world and stuff, so many things you could do, call someone, I don’t, run around naked or whatever, you really want to end playing guitar?
- No, no, I came here just because I’m stupid!!!!! I will even say it again: BE-CAU-SE-I-AM-STU-PID!!!!!!!! I came here taking the risk of being killed or scape like an animal, chased by you freak little sister just because I’m stupid.
- ... Was it irony?
- No, it was abstract German poetry.
- ...
- ...?
- Listen up, dude, you are my friend and all, we have been through many shit together, that time I shat on my pants on the subway you helped me, that other time when that girl dumped me you let me cry on your bed, get drunk and throw up, and etc, but I don’t think it is correct to call a child, that is in love, a freak. This is not the attitude of a gentleman.
- Man, she made holes in a guitar with a kitchen’s knife!
- It is this milk they sell today, when we were kids it was different. Today kids are more stronger and stuff.
- Ok. All right. Enough. Really. It’s over. Forget it. Fuck it. I’m tired. You know what? I’m going back home and I will pretend my bed is a gigantic drum and I will play it until the end of the world, fuck it. Bye.
- No, no, no, no, dude. Calm down. I’m sorry. It happens that... well, I will tell you the whole truth.
- Whole truth? What do you mean?
- Well...
- Welll?
- Sisteeeeeeeeeeeeeer, guess who is here!!!!!
- Son of a bitch!
- Hahahaha, relax, I’m just kidding, she is not here.
- No?
- No, but your face made it worth hahaha.
- ... Yes, I’m sure it was very funny to you.
- Yes, I would say so.
- But where is she? The world is going to end and you let her out, this is not a, quotes, attitude of a gentleman, quotes.
- Going to make fun of me know, hum? You were the one who invented this gentleman thing, remember? And she left before they say on TV it was the end of the world. I don’t even know where she is, and that is precisely the problem.
- I don’t understand.
- She left with your guitar and some other things saying the world was all wrong and she was going to solve it all, that she was going to end the world.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that your sister and my guitar are somehow responsible for the end of the world??!
- Yes, we could say it is possible...
- WE COULD SAY IT IS POSSIBLE????? How she would do that with a guitar?????
- I don’t know, dude, I’m drummer, I know nothing about guitars.
- ....
- .... Why this face again?
- Drummer, right?
- Yes.
- No, no. You are not a drummer, you are a son of a bitch! A son of a bitch!
- Yes... Maybe, my mom is weird, who knows what she may have done some day in her past. But I think it would be much more fun if someday she suddenly said I was born after and alien abduction, like in that story we invented once, remember?
- ... yes, I do, heheheh
- You are laughing now, hum?
- There is no other way, you are still crazy the same way.
- Yes, but I don’t think it is something bad.
- Yes, I agree. Well, I don’t know, fuck it. I’m sorry for screaming and all. It’s over. The world is going to end and everything is probably chaos, so I won’t be able to go back home anymore and won’t be able to have my guitar.
- Don’t worry, it was for the best.
- Why?
- I don’t know. It is just something that people say when something that can not be avoided happens. In many ways, everything can always be worse. And, no kidding, why you wanted to end playing guitar?
- I don’t know, I just wanted to end up doing something that would let me not think that the world was going to end in just a few minutes, or something that avoided me to have that thoughts about all the things I did or did not, my mistakes in life, and all this shit. Do you remember before a date with the girls of the time of the band, we used to play some songs before the date, so we would be more relaxed because we were not thinking to much about the date and all the ways things could be wrong and stuff? I wanted to do the same, I mean, I would play, the end of world would come and I won’t even notice, or something like that.
- I guess I understand. But you say I’m still crazy, but you continues to be Mr. Depression, holy fuck.
- Not all the time hehehe
- Well, I got one idea then.
- Which one?
- Since you are going to stay here, won’t be able to go back and so on, and we still have some minutes until the end of the world, it is not the same like playing music, but it also helps to forget things, get distracted, lose track of time and all.
- What?
- Do you wanna play some Mario Kart?
- Mario Kart?
- Yeah.
- ...My end will be playing Mario Kart?
- Yes, playing Mario Kart with that friend of yours who was part of the most fun and important stories of your life. Much better than end up alone playing depressive music like you would probably do.
- Yeah, I really was thinking about playing some depressives ones hehehe.
- See? I know you.
- ...
- ...So, let’s play?
- Nah, fuck it, ok, let’s do it.