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sexta-feira, 17 de setembro de 2010

GPS

- GPS.
- GPS?
- Yes, GPS.
- Ah, ok, GPS.
- Yeah, seat down have a beer and listen, I had a great thought.
- Great thought? Hum, I see. The same way it happed last week when you had the idea to write a story which would mix up personal things with things you would create so this way the story would be more true and could also confuse the mind of the people reading as if they knew something about your life to understand where is a creation and where is true?
- Yes! But it’s better.
- I think it’s very funny how you say “it’s better!”, with all that conviction that the other idea was good hehehe. But it’s, ok, it’s Friday, seven o’clock in evening and I’m tired, tell me your thought, entertain me with your crazy ideas.
- So, it’s GPS, you know? That navigation system you put in the car and it tells you where to go, saying like “turn left”, “take the next exit”, “follow the road for whatever distance” and all that.
- Oh, yes, I know it. I bought one to my father in his birthday. My old man could not understand anything and he uses the thing to listen MP3. You should see someday, wherever he goes Bee Gees is his soundtrack.
- Hehehe, should be nice. But listen, my sister gave me one GPS, because she knows I like to travel. So, I started to use, but not giving much credit to that thing, but suddenly I got addicted.
- Addicted?
- Yes, it’s amazing. Any address I try, that thing knows how to get there, can be close to here or even in other city. That little thing knows the right path, where to turn, where not to turn, it even knows at which time I will be there!
- Wait, wait… wait a second.
- What?
- It’s serious, dude, you looking like that old man getting all excited because of the magnetic card from the parking lot of the shopping mall. I don’t think we are already that old, are we?
- No, man, listen up, this is not it.
- So what is it?
- Wait, let me finish, I’m just talking so full of grandiosity to express better my point of view and make the reading more interesting.
- The reading? Oh, Yeah, yeah, this one I remember: it is that crazy idea you have that everything we say is actually a story and in somewhere there is a dude writing everything we are saying believing it was his idea, and more than that, later a lot of people will read this conversation…
- Yes! You still remember!
- And how could I forget such crazy shit?! hahaha Man, and you still don’t know why your girl left you for that Turkish guy with the face of a walrus hahaha
- Nah, don’t start with this story now, ok? I’m here trying to tell you a revolutionary idea and you come talking about people from the past who made us feel bad. You want me to talk about Lucy, about Diana, about Camille, yes? So then we can see who is the one who makes woman go away in this table hahaha.
- Ah, whatever. At least my head still works and I’m not so excited because of a GPS.
- You are just saying that because you didn’t let me finish, wait up and then you will see, but before I continue, I need to stop to laugh of something.
- What?
- Face of walrus was great hahahaha
- So you recognize, too? Hahaha
- Well, anyway. Let me finish.
- Ok, go ahead, impress me.
- Well, then I started to think one thing. What if we had a GPS for our life?
- What you mean? Like a magic gadget in which you type the destiny you want to your life and it guides you like “don’t stay with this girl, she is a whore”, “don’t get this job, go sell ice cream in the beach” and things like that?
- Exactly!
- Look…
- What…?
- Wait up, I’m loading the idea.
- So?
- …
- …
- Yeah.
- “Yeah” what?
- If we think about it well, it could really be a good idea.
- That’s what I mean! Imagine all that shit we did, all that wrong decisions, all that moments of uncertainty.
- Yeah, very nice. But then I think the name of the device should be GLBT.
- Wait, you know what GLBT means, right?
- Oh, yes, yes, that faggot thing, right?
- Shit man, don’t talk like that, remember the theory of the story! What if this really a story in a parallel universe and someone is really writing it down and then this someone end up being misunderstood, what if he has a gay friend who will be upset, or even worse, what if someone sue him?! All because of this word you used. All you fault. Think about it.
- Ok, ok, I will not go against you Mr. nuts.
- Ok, so you must repeat after me “Mr. reader”
- Mr. reader
- “the author of this text”
- The author of this text
- “has no responsibility for all the shit that I say”
- Has no responsibility for all the shit that I say
- “and where I said ‘faggot’”
- And where I said “faggot”
- “You should read ‘homosexual’”
- You should read “homosexual”.
- Okay, now it’s fine.
- Okay, now it’s fine.
- No, it’s already over, funny man, you didn’t had to repeat anymore.
- hehehe… So now you are satisfied?
- You can’t imagine how much.
- But, what were we talking about?
- About the GPS for our life, the beer is already in the brain so fast?
- Oh, yeah, right. So, I think it should be called GLBT.
- Why?
- Because it would be a Globally Living Better tracker. GLBT.
- Well, it can make sense, but seems to me like a joke that was translated from another language and is not so funny in English. I also don’t think this is a good name.
- Anyway, let me ask you one thing.
- Sure.
- You don’t get tired of driving every time to where the little thing tells you to go and not to where you want go?
- What you mean?
- Well, I mean like explore, walk free, finding things by chance. I discovered many nice places when I was walking lost, actually it was in one of these occasions that I met the little French girl. If I had a GPS I would never discover any of these places or never meet the little French girl. And the little French girl is the little French girl, you know what I mean, right?
- Yes, I know, she is great.
- Man, I think you are thinking all this things because you have been through a lot of complicated stuff in the last months, so we tend to be a little pessimist with everything. If you think about it, wake up every morning knowing that everything will always be ok, always going by the better path, safer path of all, maybe it would be a big shit. Very big. You see, what if the way to the things are not perfect at all?
- That cheap philosophy about “I must lose myself so then I can find me”?
- Is not “cheap philosophy”, man, it really works. You just can do things right, because you made wrong many times and I know that the French girl is nice, because previously I have fucked myself up with Camille, with Diana, with Lucy and everything else.
- So, you advice is that I should have a smile in my face while life fucks me up?
- Look, in one way or in another, you gonna be fucked up, there is no escape. And I’m not making a joke about sex. Shit happens, your dad will die, your dog will die, your cell phone is gonna fall down and brake, your internet connection will be out for a day, no matter how much you pay for it. It all that happens. Your whish of a perfect line, a perfect path, where we know even when we gonna get what we want, like “I want a Oscar for best Director and I will get it is in 8 years if I do this, this and that”. It’s tempting, but I don’t know, I think you just can really achieve something if you really deserve that. I mean, the winner of the Oscar will be the GPS, and not me.
- The ceremony would be great, imagine the GPS wearing a smoking! Hahaha
- hahaha and the speech, “you have arrived, the destination is at front” hahaha
- And then in the after ceremony party, the GPS messing up with girls, getting drunk, arguing, like “Mr. GPS, you can’t drive to home, you are drunk, - Leave me alone, I now the way back home better than anyone! To any home!” hahahaha
- hahahaha
- hahaha…
- But, dude, what if the perfect path the GPS would give for life is exactly this path through which we will be fucked up, het hurt and everything to achieve a bigger destiny?
- Well, if that is the case, so we don’t need it, right? ‘cause you don’t need a device to tell you should do what you believe, even if it will hurt you sometimes and doesn’t matter if all this mistakes will mean something perfect, or whatever is your destiny, later. All that we know already and when we forget there is always a friend to give us a bad advice hehehehe.
- Yeah, but always with good intentions.
- Yes, yes, but you are forgetting that sometimes the advice works pretty good, if you know what I mean?
- Oh, I get it, you talked to the French girl the way I told to, right?
- Yes and she understood the way you said she would.
- So it means if it ends up in marriage I will be like the GPS who gave you the right direction?
- You are so pretentious hahaha
- hahahah, or maybe not.
- Well, so let’s change the subject, no more of this “nah nah nah I’m scared of life, mi mi mi mi don’t know what to do”, let’s have a grown up men talk now.
- So it means you gonna tell me how it was yesterday with the French girl?
- Of course!