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terça-feira, 2 de fevereiro de 2010

Exposition

It was like suddenly things made sense. In their forced smiles, astonished by the result, under the flashes and in the noise which was so much that made him feel like there was no sound and no time.

In the end things were revealed. In the end he was right and they were wrong. In a certain way it was funny and if he was so fan of vengeance he would be happy to stay and taste that moment, but no, he just wanted to leave. He wanted to recover of a week without sleep, eat and bath.

Ideas appear. Mind creates lots of things by itself. To some people, like him, or you set free these ideas somehow, or you get insane. I’m not talking about people who believes to be spider-man, I’m talking about people who freaks out, collapse, dies or suffer one of those things that people who don’t understand will see as “no sense talk of somebody who has nothing to do in life”.

He worked so hard that last week. He really wanted to show the best of his work, wanted that people could see the universes he was always creating, all the possibilities and all that worlds. He wanted that they could not only see, but think, identify themselves, feel better and then make possible for him to live from his ideas, from his creations of his mind. He didn’t wanted to be limited in life the way he felt he was not living by that.

He created truly amazing things, new things which reflected his point of view and the things he lived and absorbed. It had everything, the old cartoons like He-Man, videogames from Miyamoto, some movies, internet, nights of loneliness, all the countries of the world, music, sounds and the flavor of the things we can remember without taste.

The decision to show his creations was complicated. In fact, it is always complicated to show to other people anything we create with truth, even more when our universe doesn’t seem to correspond with the universe of the people who will look at it. Even more, when there is the habit of feel apart of everything. Even more, when he was so tired of play a role to bear the inability that people seem to have to understand the world by his eyes.

Those ideas had to make money somehow. That was the objective. This is always the objective. We need money, we need to live, but make money not by his universes wasn’t living for him.

He not even remembers how happy he felt when he believed he found an opportunity to show his universes to people who would really understand. Maybe, the so waited time, had come. Maybe had finally arrived the time for him to be someone he wanted to be, to be like that people he used to hear about. That could be the time to break free of the normality which he didn’t felt he belonged.

In internet he signed in. In internet he presented his universes the way they asked. In internet he saw the result that made him speechless because of happiness. He was selected to show his work.

Then, it was time to transform those concepts in something that could be seen by everyone. And that’s what he did in the following months. It was very hard, very tiring, filled with doubts, fear of fail and a hope that everything could really be perfect.

One week before the presentation he met those who judged his ideas and said his concepts of universe deserved to become something that the entire world could see. He was sweating a lot. Not only because the city was another and was hot, but because he was really nervous. Afraid of everything turn into a big wrong shit.

In a certain way, in a way, it did.

Admire is a weird feeling. The power to say if something must be in way or another. Judge only to judge, with no thinking. The concepts of his universe were true, but what he built and also he were true and it became a big problem.

It’s good, it’s pretty, it’s beautiful, it’s acceptable to say and argue about ways and forms. You can talk about hows and whens. Turn these sounds, these concepts, these philosophies into something real, create for real a manner to transform one idea in fact, be in fact what these ideas stand for, it is a huge problem.

These people who create, who make, who are for real, they don’t cling to traditional values nor judgments. They don’t care about impressions, money and power. They just care about truth. That was an exposition of universes, made with the objective of money, but made by people who believed more in pieces of paper than in ideas and feelings. People who used to make money of the universes of other people not worrying about the meanings they had.

The work of months was judged, misunderstood, transformed into a joke, forced to be pruned. He held the way he could. Defended the way it was possible. It was hard after all. That people didn’t understand his search. They didn’t understand he was there because he needed to be, because he needed to get a door to get out. That was not a tentative to look like something especial, it was especial for real, that was his soul.

He wanted to show his universe in the end of the week, and for that, he accepted to make concessions. The only thing he needed was to be there in the right day when the world would see the universes selected to the exposition. People would know his name. Take his picture. Someone would notice his potential, his truth and who he was. Maybe someone would even write a short story about him in a blog or in a book.

The people behind the exposition, who didn’t understand his universe and had no respect for him, were the people who had the power to modify that balance, that harmony which didn’t make sense to then because it was a universe of his own and not a universe based in what was established as something right, in something safe, in something fake. It was his universe, and these people, maybe because they could not believe that even them could create something really true, couldn’t let it be. It was their exposition, they had the key to the door, so he accepted.

In that week he was running, not sleeping, not eating, not nothing, he was only doing everything he could to make the universe acceptable by that people. Without realizing he transformed his original universe in a hidden message. He withheld what in fact can’t be withheld.

To stupid eyes the meaning of things is in the surface and not in the details. To stupid ears what a person says is in its words and not in the tone, context and body language used. To stupid minds, what is easier to see is what is true.

When the universes where revealed to the world, when the world saw what he had done, even in that pruned version of his universe the difference between it and all the other universes of the exposition was undeniable.

The other universes despite their friendship with the specialized press, despite the friendship with the minds behind that event, they didn’t seem to occupy the same screen, the same space, the same stage, the same page, the same catwalk. The universes passed by the people, and the people passed by them. However, his universe, in the end was what stood, what made sense. His universe was the new, was the unexpected.

He did it.

The subconscious mind of people is smarter than themselves. His universe was the chosen one. It could no longer be hid. In the right time. In the right moment. He was free.

It was like suddenly things made sense. In their forced smiles, astonished by the result, under the flashes and in the noise which was so much that made him feel like there was no sound and no time.