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sexta-feira, 1 de janeiro de 2010

About this "2009"

2009 was a weird and complicated year to me in many aspects. Everything happened and also everything didn’t happened. And, despite the fact it is normal to every year, this year wasn’t normal.

I don’t think it would be useful to anyone if I come here to tell literally what happened, the objective is not to turn this into some kind of diary, gossip magazine, wailing wall or some advanced outpost of feeling ashamed for what other people did (hahaha). I think what is really useful is what's left of what was experienced. There were many experiences. Who knows maybe it will be useful to something or someone?

To start this crazy talk, I kind like the way this change of year is just an illusion. The truth is that it is all just one day after another, counted in a calendar which began in the wrong day. Even by astronomic means to try to convince me, since I like astronomy, it is just a revolution around the Sun. Because of this kind of movement we can’t really say where it started, when it goes from first lap to second lap, it could be anywhere, in any day of the year. However, even if it is an illusion, it is always good to know we have concluded something.

We live in this human society which has its things an counts its time with this years and days, maybe in an attempt to keep, to remember and to understand all the things we live. This way, It is nice to see the year is over, another year is coming, the cycle is done, the season is over, even if the sky is the same, if the week still has 7 days and at Monday we will have to go back to work.

What I will take with me from 2009, in a simplified way, are 5 things:

1 – To know who we are and what we really want is a fucking complicated process which involves fear, getting hurt, hurt people that we don’t want to hurt and the commitment of decide what we want and then make it the right way. The decision, and the believe in this decision are the most important thing, the days will come, things will change and in the end an answer appears. It’s a little corny but this year I really learned that the greatest force in the universe is called “tomorrow”.

2 - It is not always good look to someone and be able to see who that person is. Especially when your judgment would only be useful if it was made by someone else. Everyone has it’s time to see what it needs to see and sometime we have to do what is right, even when the right is not easy to us.

3 – Sleep well, satisfied with yourself and the perspectives of what we do in our everyday, or even don’t sleep, can be better than sleep the 8 hours the doctor told us to.

4 – Even when we are fucked up, when everything looks worthless and useless, we should never lose the ability to laugh or make fun of things. It’s also always important to never lose the motivation to find new answers. Every problem has a solution. Every.

5 – If you wanna do something you must believe it will work. That thing about “no, don’t create too much expectations, believing that things will be this and that, because in the end you will have great disappointments and you will regrets” is a nice piece of useless shit. It is coward and weak people talk. Believe in things, create expectations, that’s what will push you to create really great things. You can’t run from disappointments, but that’s why we have a fat butt, to fall seating down many time, but never stop walking.

To conclude this crazy talk, I need to say to my friends that even if I’m always disappearing, running, not showing up in birthdays or anything like that, I do appreciate our friendship. I know it doesn’t help much, but that’s me, and that’s what I had to do now. Every person who knows me and talked to me, even if it was just a word in 2009, you were all very important to what I have been through this year. Believe me.

I also need to thank all the people who support my work. I’m still not a mega corporation, I didn’t won my first million, but I ne to say thanks to all these people who writes to me, who visits my website, who comment, or who just visit and have fun. It’s all very important when we give our time to some crazy projects we not even know if it’s going to work hehehehe.

That’s all for now, noble illustrious people. Be fine, 2009 you were very fucking hard, but go in peace, I’m still standing, laughing, I won hahaha. 2010, welcome. And to you all, I wish you a great New Year!