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terça-feira, 8 de dezembro de 2009

New Moon - bla bla bla a lot things

The vision of a an actor as Robert Pattinson walking towards the camera while a fake wind makes his shirt fly, or observe how fast a t-shirt can be taken off to stop the bleeding of someone’s head, or even how useless a t-shirt can be to the day by day clothes of a person, is not the problem of this movie. The great problem is its story, which almost succeeds in being a crime against people’s intelligence. However, is it really a problem? Is this movie really guilty for something? Oh look, here I’m asking tricky questions in the introduction paragraph to make it a little more interesting.

Moving on, I have waited to talk about this movie because I think it’s better to talk about something that everyone already saw, giving my thoughts about it instead of simply make a review before anyone sees the movie. Any site about movies can do it and I want to do something unique. Yeah, is all part of the world domination as you all already know hehehe.

This way, I can now talk whatever I want without any fear of reveal something. Actually, if you didn’t watched the movie and don’t want me to spoil your happiness, stop reading. Go, watch and come back, ok?


That totally awesome summary
The story begins when Mr. “vampire- with- the-face-of-‘I know I’m acting’” (aka Edward) decides to go away from the life of the girl of the face of lettuce (or Bella) before he end up being responsible for her death. He came to this conclusion because he pushed her like she was a bag of garbage when the “vampire not completely trained of the family Cullen” lost control because of a paper cut in the finger of our dear lettuce girl. The love of the Mr. vampire was so immense, so wow, so “oh my god, how much I love you” that we can summarize the conflict like this “I’m going away because I’m a stupid jerk who acted as a idiot and if I do that again there is the possibility that I will kill you with my vampire super strength and my small brain”, because since we already know, next time some shit like that came to happen he could let’s say… ahn… think, and not push her into the wall, no? Anyway, let’s keep going.

- gee... you shit head, look what you did...
- Damn, Edward, throw you mother now. I will not clean this...

Mr. vampire run away with his family giving as a excuse the story that everyone is starting to talk how strange it is that the “father” of the family never grows old. Holy hell, what a story, no? I mean, he don’t grow old is just a detail, take a look to his face, there something wrong here, serious, what crap of makeup is that? Let’s not mind, ok, let’s go back to the drama of the guy who has more than 100 years old and prefers, instead of staying home or search for better ways of living, go to school to meet lettuce girls with 10 times less life experience than he has. Once he is gone, the girl of the face of lettuce jump in a suffering from hell, looking through window, the camera spinning around as the months pass by and are written in the screen, while a depressive indie song sounds. Yeah, the vampire guy simple took her to a walk in the woods, told her he was leaving, in the next second he is gone and the stupid girl couldn’t even say or ask something, and if it wasn’t enough she really believed the vampire guy when he said he didn’t love her anymore.

- Mind not, ma friend.. the problem is me, yo?

Then, the girl with no life, no action, no argumentation and with a questionable charisma decides that she wants to be a biker, and that she wants to get involved in activities where her life is in danger. At the same time she starts to be much more friendlily with the Indian boy who looked like a fan of metal music, but suddenly reveals 2 supernatural facts about himself. The first one is that he has 16 years old (Yeah! Yes, really!), the second one is that he is a werewolf of the shirtless species. Then we see a ridiculous situation of the werewolf Jacob trying to gain the love of the lettuce girl and a stupid mystery of a guy who appeared to be an evil werewolf but later is revealed as a friend of the neighborhood super amazing who protects everyone one against the vampires of the first movie that appeared in the same nonsense way that everything else in the story.

When it seems that finally the lettuce girl is going to play with the shirtless werewolf the way he wants, we find out that the stupid vampire Edward is going to kill himself. Because of a misunderstanding he believes Bella killed herself and he can’t live in a world where she doesn’t exist. In a blink of an eye lettuce girl leaves shirtless boy and is in Italy with the sister of the amazing vampire Edward, his sister came to check if she was really dead (yeah, she is wiser than Edward…). Bella arrives in a mysterious little city, where the Royal Family of the Vampires lives, just in time to stop the skinny vampire, who had more than 100 years of life to became strong-bodied just like the wolf boy who succeeded in this task in 16 years, to make some stupid shit.

Before she returns home with her pretty boy, step into the stage another nonsense conflict. Once the weird Royal Family of the Vampires crossed paths with the lettuce girl of course they wanted to meet her better, just like every weird creature who sees her ( : D ). Then we have a little fight, a meaningless discussion based in “we have to kill her, because she is a human who knows too much about us vampires” and in the end everyone is saved because a horrible “vision of the future” made by the sister of the skinny vampire of him and the lettuce girl running and shinning in the sun. And, finally, in this very logic way, the real family let they go with the promises that someday in the future (nobody knows when) lettuce girl will cease to be a human who knows too much to became a vampire who knows too much.

They return to their city and shirtless wolf, lettuce girl and the charming vampire meet. Wolf boy who still had hopes for the love of our dear girl has the unpleasant task to hear she saying that all the time she never wanted nothing with him, she always wanted that piece of shit vampire. In other words, the fucking bitch was just playing with wolf boy feelings. Than the movie ends with the promise that Bella will be turned into a vampire when she finish high school and the return of the chosen one vampire and his family to the city just like nothing had happen. Very pretty, no?

- Why not?
- 'Cause I live in world with t-shirts...


Final and Important Statements
I don’t want to discuss the “fan service” aspects of style and visuals or what everyone sees of especial not only in the vampire boy, but also in the shirtless wolf boy. The girls like, they are happy, uhu, ariba, this is not important, every form of entertainment needs to entertain his specific public, so it is ok. Of course I believe fan service for fan service is not good, there is a way to give things a feel and a appeal and I really don’t think this movie knows how to do it. There are a lot of times when we laugh when I think we supposed not to.

By my words used to summarize the story I believe we could already see the problems the movie has with its story (in my opinion, of course). I mean, what makes all these nice guys fall in love for that girl? What she has of especial? Why everyone always fall in love with her just by looking at her before they even know her? Is it forbidden magic? These are important questions, but I still have other ones, much more serious, take a look in the next paragraph.

Is it really acceptable to let a generation of girls grow up believing they don’t need to have something especial to attract boys with fantastic qualities? Is it really acceptable a entire generation of girls believe that is correct to have no action and to perform acts of almost suicide, or to stay crying and suffering for months in a room because some coward and stupid guy who doesn’t even know how to talk about a problem? Is it really acceptable to know that somebody loves you and let it goes because of the happiness of the feeling of being special to someone knowing all the time that this person has no chance at all? Is it really acceptable to let people believe that a feeling for someone is a magic thing that is build without the reflex of our actions and fears?

I don’t think a story need to be ultra deep and bla bla bla, but I also don’t think they can be irresponsible in what they say is right to the people or that they can be illogic based on the simple decision of the writer.

Usually when someone came up with a story like that people reject that right away. But why it didn’t happened with this “twilight saga” story? I have one theory that is related with the mystic around the unconditional love, with the image of the charming prince that is always there, even if it was a little hidden in the last few years in people’s collective unconscious.

Doesn’t matter if the story is illogic. Doesn’t matter if Bella and Edward make no sense as a couple, doesn’t matter if the plot is not well set. What really matters is that in the end they are together and they are happy and in some way that is what people need the most these days. A story, an example, that shows to everyone that those story of “uhu, let’s kiss and fuck a billion people with no commitment forever, friend!” is not what will fulfill someone. That thing about Bella be a character with nothing special, just a normal girl, helps a lot to make people fell themselves as a part of it, it helps to make people believe they could be Bella. Deep, deep inside, people just want to have by their side someone that make they feel not alone. I think it can also explain the success of this story with older women, who are already mothers and everything.

Because of that, despite my sarcastic tone, I believe if this story motivates people to search a love to them instead of a coward “have fun with no commitments and challenges”, or help to make people feel better facing life and its hardships or with who they are, it is all acceptable. As cinema, as a story, as art, as brilliant actors in scene, the movie is bad, is just ok, but this is not a problem. Well, of course I would be much happier if we had this entire message with a coherent and artistic story, but it’s ok, who knows maybe it will the opening door for something like that?

- I dissagree with this stupid jerk...
- Well, I kinda liked
- I didn’t even read, he wrote too much...