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segunda-feira, 19 de outubro de 2009

Turkish cup

Last night when I got home, I found my new cup from Turkey waiting for me where I had left it, just like a normal cup without life would do. I looked from far away and as I was getting closer I noticed I had forgot some liquid inside and the ants had discovered that. The image that I saw, however, didn’t had nothing of normal and facing this abnormal picture, happened in mind what follows.

What went wrong? Probably, when the first ant got inside of the cup, then saw what was inside, it felt itself very excited and returned running to tell to all the other ants about its find. At that time, maybe this particular ant had a special feeling, maybe it was its moment to prove to everyone and to itself its true value. Who knows that was the day when that female ant, for who his antenna flicked a little different, looked back for the first time with something else in the eye? Who knows maybe it was the first time its parents felt pride about its weird and son? “Look, Ant Junior, this time you really shown your value, what great treasure you found!”.

I know ants doesn’t have this kind of relationship among each other and with their parents, but anyway, who knows?

The expedition came, about 40 ants, all decided to take the sugar they knew the substance inside of the cup had. It was a soft drink, since today I’m not really excited about drink something that will make my head hurt next morning and I don’t think that feel my eyes a little lighter for a few hours will really help to solve my problems. Most of the time we need to think and something that makes harder to think is not the way I feel like going these days. Maybe I’m getting old, or just an asshole. Maybe both. Anyway, ants.

What went wrong to then? Inside of the cup, in a weakly ring of soft drink, there are 33 drowned ants. I ended up counting how much they were. I never saw something like that and I was very impressed, sorry.

My head then started to came up with a lot of possible explanations to that scene. Were this 33 ants murders and criminals of the ant society convicted to die? Maybe they were the 33 crazy ants gang? Or were they members of some kind of religion who knew something about the end of the world and then decided to commit collective suicide?

I also thought if that were ants that couldn’t see their roles in life, that didn’t found a place in life where they would fit and liked to live in the edge of everything. Their mistake was that this time they had take too much of the sugar that life offered, a sugar that later was proved toxic. It came from soft drink and everyone knows that this shit is no good to anyone, right?

What if it wasn’t an intentional dead, how the ants felt in the exactly moment when they started to notice some shit was going on and everyone was going to die? I imagine when the first ants started to get steady, with a distant look in their eyes, quiet until they antennas had no more movement, until their last breath came out in the air like a tear in the rain. I wonder.

I remained in silence, looking to that cup for a while. Then, I started to feel myself guilty. I mean, how much time an ant lives? How much life this 33 ants would still have if I didn’t left some soft drink inside of the new cup? My other cup, the one with water remain pure and guiltyless. Was that really my fault, or maybe it was the fault of the toxic soft drink that makes no good to any living creature in a short, medium or long term? Or maybe it’s the ants fault and their mysteries as a society, which we will never completely understand because we are arrogant and vain humans? Or yet, another maybe, maybe it’s the fault of some stronger force that every time we don’t believe in it, it came and give us a picture, or a scene that doesn’t look to make sense, but make we think a lot things that we never felt we could think just by seeing that.

Try to understand was useless. Somehow I felt that image already had fulfilled is meaning of existence. I cleaned the cup and placed it in the shelf.

A cup, some soft drink and 33 dead ants inside. It was fucking weird.